Post by Shadow Phoenix on Sept 14, 2008 1:00:39 GMT -5
OoC: This post brought to you by the combined efforts of ZaCloud and Shadow Phoenix. This post also brought to you by the letter H and the number 42. Enjoy.
IC:
In the wake of the sudden arrival of Dark Crono and his sudden alliance with Sephiroth X, Bax stared wearily at Zack, his disturbed mind holding sleep from him and forcing him to comprehend what had just occurred.
Zack was still staring at where they had departed from, eyes distant, blinking slowly. Then he lowered his head, squeezing his hands into tight fists. “Damn it... I should have gone with him... I just... DAMN it! What makes him think he can trust Crono?! He's gonna backstab him or somethin'! And something just didn't feel right about Sephy, either... What's goin' on?! Damn...”
Bax shook his head as an unsettling knot wrenched his stomach in all directions. “I know Zack...I do not like this either...”
“I mean jeez!” the teen continued, beginning to pace the room, staring at the floor ahead of him and gesturing in angry jerks. “Whatever he did to get strong, did it go to his head?! I mean, I know he kicked the shit outta the Magi, but this is still Valtiel we're talkin’ about, AND Crono! I know I'm nowhere near as strong as any of ‘em, but he shouldn't be goin' out there alone! Any extra eyes, extra blades, woulda helped... Is he that arrogant now?!”
He swung to look at a table with a few empty bowls on it, and tensed as if ready to strike the metal objects across the room, but he aborted before truly starting the motion and lowered his head, shaking it back and forth with an angry yet somewhat defeated sigh. “Stupid bastard... I'm so worried about him that I hate him!”
Bax raised his head and gazed with tired eyes at Zack, who had clearly gone beyond sheer frustration to anger. Bax had rarely seen Zack like this. And even though this kind of behavior was warranted to some degree, it still shocked Bax.
“Zack, please,” Bax began, raising a hand towards his friend. “Calm yourself...he can make his own decisions...even if they are bad decisions...”
Zack's head snapped toward Bax, his eyes wide and nearly panicked. “Bax! You weren’t here when Sephy was talking about how he'd obtain more power.”
He walked toward his friend with his hands gesturing again, still angry but mostly worried. “The folks here were talking about a previous Warrior of Prosperity who had fallen into darkness, an’ it was his sword that held that essence. An’ there's a soothsayer here who said something in another language about 'burning with violent anger' or somethin’, then she said, ‘Sephiroth!’ I was already worried about the whole thing... Worried that he might not be able to fight that darkness if he found that power.”
He stopped, looking Bax right in the eye. “Well, he found it obviously... Now what if he isn't really making his own decisions anymore?”
A shiver went down Bax's spine as he listened to Zack speak. No wonder Sephiroth’s power felt so out of control...what a frightening development. Bax knew how lucrative that dark power could be...and how destructive it got when unleashed. And now that he had joined forces with Dark Crono. Things were getting dark indeed...
Bax nodded his head and sighed, “Unfortunately, Zack, there is nothing that we can do right now other than trust Sephiroth and hope that he makes it back here in one piece. Until that time...he was right. I am out of commission, so I know that I can not do anything other than try to smack some sense into his head when he gets back. Our options are limited.”
Zack sighed and nodded slowly, his arms and head dropping. “I know... You're right... Sephy's been through a lot, but still kept his head... Or at least got it back... I should have more faith in him, that he can keep pullin' it off...”
He put a hand to his chest, then clenched it over part of the cloth of his shirt. “But... I wish I was there... to make sure...”
“I know Zack...I know...”
Bax yawned and laid his head down. “Damn it...even with that excitement, I am tired...”
The teen sighed, sitting back down in his chair and leaning his back against the bed post, arms and legs folded. “Yeah... You need your rest...” He sighed, and said nothing more, giving Bax's pull toward sleep the silence it needed.
As Bax slept in relative peace for the first time in a long time, his mind refused to stay down. His body rested, but his psyche raged…he dreamed, yet it was not a dream. It was a nightmare…
Crushing darkness swirled around Bax. He spun around in horror as he was assaulted by verbal demons, harassing him while he had nowhere to run.
“Look at him, he’s so scared!”
“He can’t even fight anymore!”
“What a weakling.”
“He doesn’t deserve to be a king.”
“He doesn’t even deserve to be alive.”
“It’s a shame Drax died. He wouldn’t have let thousands of people die.”
“Why couldn’t it have been this pawn instead? What’s so special about him?”
“Nothing. That’s why he’s in the shape he is now.”
“Of course. He couldn’t even save his first wife.”
“And now he’s just going to have to let his second wife and his little boy move on without him.”
“They’ll be better off with him, anyhow.”
“All of Auralis will be better off without Bax Firago.”
“Why won’t he just die already?”
Bax pitched to his knees as the harsh jeers rang all around him. The voices…he recognized him…they were all the voices of his fallen comrades…the ones that had died in the ship crash here on Earth. Bax sank into a murky pool of blackness and was engulfed in the void of the darkness. The voices only got louder…
“He’s worthless! He says he thinks of others alone, but then goes off to save his own hide.”
“I feel sorry for anyone who feels like they can trust him.”
“He’ll only let them all down.”
“Even if he lives…even if he gets back to Auralis…he’ll just let everyone down.”
“He should have dwindled into obscurity.”
They were all fears that Bax hoped and prayed every day were not true. He always tried to do his best for his people…but he worried constantly that people were judging him and wishing that they still had his father or his brother at the helm. After all, they had been great men…even if Drax had been a member of that wicked cult, the Children of the Shadows, he had certainly done many great things for Auralis in his short reign, hadn’t he? Bax had to believe in his brother…
But he worried because…because of all the turmoil that had impacted Auralis in the last 10 years since Bax became the king. They had been invaded on his coronation day and been heavily involved in two other wars. He had continued what his grandfather had begun almost 100 years ago in his attempts to rebuild Auralis’ economy, military, and most importantly, its reputation, after a long tyrannical reign under his great-grandfather Revelle. They had made several important technological advances in the last 10 years, and had established important political alliances, but…
“He thinks that he’s so great. Just because he’s a Firago.”
“It’s not like they’re infallible.”
“Who put them in charge anyway?”
“Who cares? We don’t need someone leading us who can’t even save himself.”
“Shut up!” Bax screamed. The darkness was consumed in flames which intermingled with the dense shadows and spun around Bax.
“You’re just going to tell them to shut up?” the gruff voices that Bax had recently come to associate with his sword, the Valermos, responded in the darkness. “If you disagree, do something about it.”
Bax found himself somehow stable on his hands and his knees, and he looked up to see the shadows and flames forming before him. But Bax’s vision was blurry in this dark sphere, so he couldn’t tell what this was. Was the Valermos manifesting before him? Did that even make sense?
“But what can I do?” he asked. “I have lost my ability to fight!”
“Have you? Or have you rather lost the will to fight?”
Bax opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted.
“I know what happened, Bax. But get a grip. You may have been sealed away, but that shouldn’t stop you.”
Bax nodded. Perhaps this…thing…was right. He just needed to focus…then he would be able to make things work. He wouldn’t lose. And he wouldn’t let his people down. He wouldn’t let his insecurities get the best of him.
“Thank you,” he said, but the flames had already dissipated. Instead, Bax stood as the darkness around him gave way to a new scene. He fell into a chair and found himself in the tent where his physical body lay—staring at his darker self in a chair opposite him. It was like looking into a mirror that was tinted…or tainted…those dark, grim eyes stared back at him with piercing hate and made his blood run cold. The darker Bax was silhouetted in a strange light that glowed from the mouth of the tent. So Bax could barely see the expression on his face, though he certainly appeared agitated.
“Why do you trouble me while I sleep? Can’t I get any respite?”
“No rest for the weary, Bax. I can’t believe you are sleeping so calmly.”
Bax sighed, “I’ve nearly died many times over the past few days. I think I’ve got a right to rest a little.”
The silhouetted body lurched a little in a huff. “A right. Do you even listen to yourself speak? What a crock! Get yourself together, dumbass!”
Bax turned to the side in his chair and shook his head, “Did you come to insult me or do you want something?”
A slight dark chuckle crept from across the room, “I want to have my cake and eat it, too. It’s too much fun to insult you, but I want something too. I want the same thing I always do. I want to rule.”
Bax rolled his eyes. “Fat chance. My body. My rules.”
“Our body,” came the sharp response. “You want the power, you deal with me. Your ancestors understood that, didn’t they?”
Bax growled low, “None of us signed up for this.”
“Look at history!” He sounded irritated now. “Your forefathers knew what they were doing when they made just one of your race different. One meant for greatness. One who might be able to lead them to victory if they were ever threatened. And so they found their savior when they needed him and he became the first king.”
He spoke of Kijix, the 3rd generation Phoeniyan who led the Phoeniyan forces as the head general and was then made king. But what did that have to do with this?
“And consider Hokarix, who was so terrified of tapping into the vast wellspring of power within himself that he led Auralis to ruin. But his son, Revelle! Ahh, Revelle knew what it meant to grasp power, even if he did become a little drunk with it. Everyone else has managed understand how to use this power. But you have separated yourself from me and tried to suppress me. Can’t you just see I want to give you power?”
“Dark power.”
“Light, dark, come on! What is the difference? You’re a king! Power is power is power.”
“Not to me it isn’t.”
The silhouetted figure leaned closer to Bax. “You don’t get it. We’re meant to rule together! We’re different for a reason! After ten years, you’d think maybe you could embrace that!”
Bax turned again to face his darker self and his sullen countenance twisted into a snarl. “I don’t need your power. I can defeat Valtiel…and the Order…and the Children of the Shadows without you.”
A moment of silence ensued. Then, the figure opposite bowed his head and sighed. “You’re impossible.”
Bax shook his head, “You’ll see.”
“Perhaps. But when you finally get it through your thick skull that you’re helpless by yourself, I’ll be here to get your ass out of a jam. And I’ll lay waste to those enemies and anyone else who gets in my way.”
Bax shivered, “That’s why I don’t want you in control.”
“There will always be collateral. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you’ll be able to get back to your lovely wife and child. And the sooner you’ll be able to be an effective king. You can’t save everyone, you know. Some people are going to die. Before this is all over, you’ll have to kill and you’ll have to let people die. If you try to save everyone else, you won’t be able to save yourself.”
Bax took a deep breath, licked his lips, and stood from his chair. “I’ll find a way.”
Another sigh. “Suit yourself.” Bax turned to resume his favored position of reclining in the bed, but his darker self added one last comment. “Idiot.”
Bax lay down and closed his eyes, trying to shut out the presence of his dark self…the subconscious voice in the back of his mind. Bax knew he was a liar, but his words and offers seemed more lucrative than ever now. Bax just had to loose himself from the dark, iron grip on his mind. Perhaps he could still get a little sleep…
Before he drifted off, though, he heard the voice of his inner darkness whispering in his ear. He kept his eyes closed, but listened.
“And I do want something else, Bax. Other than control.”
“What?”
“…I don’t trust that Crono. And since your silver-haired friend has joined forces with him, I’m worried about him, too. Be careful…”
Bax opened his eyes and saw his darker self standing above him with a little concern etched onto his face. Bax looked surprised, and he nodded. What was this about?
Bax opened his eyes (again) and shook his “dreaming” away with a vigorous shake of his head. Just like the night before, he had pants on, but no shirt. A black shirt that looked about his size hung on a hook on the other side of the tent. Bax looked down and saw Zack sleeping peacefully next to him. The spiky-haired teen had fallen asleep in a chair next to Bax, and his right arm was lying limply on Bax’s arm—trying to make sure he didn’t go anywhere. It looked like a kind of uncomfortable position. His head rested on the bed post and his mouth hung open a little in the corner, where a small spot of drool trickled down his chin. The poor kid…
Bax observed the needles in his arms and the variety of pads attached to various parts of his body. The saline bags that they had hooked up to him were now drained dry—no had been here in a while it seemed. Bax reached for a piece of gauze next to his bed. He took a deep breath and held it as he removed the needle on his right arm. He quickly pressed the gauze to the raised and bruised area and held his arm up to let the wound close. After a moment he was satisfied, and he repeated the procedure on his other arm. Once he had both needles out of his arms, he slowly pulled the other wires from his body and shifted Zack to a more comfortable position with his head resting on a pillow on the bed instead of on the cold, hard metal of the post. He pushed his chair closer to the bed and grabbed a folded blanket from the foot of the bed and threw it on Zack. He smiled to see his friend sleeping so peacefully and strode across the tent towards the black shirt. He rubbed the slightly irritated patches of skin where he had just yanked monitoring instruments from and pulled the shirt on, trying to ignore the nasty looking stitches on his abdomen. He turned to leave the tent, but thought better of it and returned to the roll of gauze next to his bed. He picked it up and rolled it around his hands and abdomen a few times to give himself basic wrappings. Satisfied, he left the tent.
As he emerged outside, he breathed in the cool, dry desert air. The sun was still low in the sky and this place, wherever he was, was painted with a myriad of cool reds and blues as the light trickled around the tents and played with the shadows. Bax didn’t know what time it was, but it was very early. He didn’t see any movement at this end of the camp, though he heard the low barking of a few dogs far away. It would seem that wherever he was, people didn’t get up too early.
It was a nice morning, though, unlike the last two times he had woken up (when it had been raining once and was miserably hot the other). Bax raised his arms and stretched in, taking a nice deep breath of the lightly sweet air. After the madness of the past few days, he admitted that it was very nice to wake up without fearing certain death. There was something about this place that just calmed Bax in a way that he had not felt in…weeks or more. It felt a little bit like Nibelheim, actually (before the incident with Lynx, and then the attack by Zion’s army). It was just…nice. Even though he didn’t know anything about it. After all, he had only been conscious here for those few minutes when he spoke to Zack the day before. He seemed to remember people dressed as drifters when he made it here, but the details of his arrival at this place were very blurry. He didn’t remember anything about getting here distinctly, other than that Sephiroth X had appeared in the midst of Black Spider’s battle with the Magi and allowed them to escape. What had happened?
Bax strode a few paces from the tent to a slightly open space where he had a little bit of room to exercise and train. He knew that he was injured, but he couldn’t bring himself to just lie down and do nothing. After all, his enemies on this planet were probably not just sitting idly by. They were no doubt training and making preparations and plans. Bax had to do something…
He stretched a little bit and then dropped to his hands and toes to start doing pushups. He usually did some basic strength training as a part of his daily exercises. He usually went for about 1000 pushups, but he would take it easy today and start out with 500 and see how he felt after that. He positioned his hands and went to work.
Over the next ten or fifteen minutes of pushups, Bax considered what he knew and tried to plan his next move. He couldn’t stop thinking and planning for a moment if he wanted to keep up with his enemies.
The most disturbing of recent events, of course, was the sudden reappearance of Dark Crono in their lives. Bax thought that Crono had been killed by Sephiroth X, but he had just appeared in the tent at X’s beckoning. And now the two of them, heated enemies less than a month before at their climactic battle for the Element, were joining forces to lead a strike on Valtiel. It would certainly be a powerful struggle, but Bax felt intensely uneasy about the alliance and the effect that it would have on the rest of the group. He had worked tentatively with former enemies in the past, but it was never this intimate…
Hodia was now in cahoots with Valtiel, and they had Midgar under siege with an unholy army of destruction at their disposal. He didn’t know exactly what they had planned, but he was sure that Valtiel would try to exert his control over even more of this planet using Midgar as his base of operations. That sadistic force had an incredible amount of power, and it could only spell bad news for this planet. The fact that Hodia had joined him as well…and that she had manipulated so many events to further this event…it bothered Bax more than he could say. He didn’t know what she was capable of now. Either way, the next confrontation with the harbingers of Apocalypse would not be pretty…Bax hoped that Sephiroth X knew what he was really getting himself into…
Then there was that group from Midgar that Bax had traveled with. He had seen two of them get injured by Rivel, Eve, and Teras. The group was well equipped, but he knew how difficult it was to travel economically with injured party members. And since they were in the desert, they would have found it difficult to find a good place to rest or heal. Bax was truly worried about them…he wondered how they had fared since they had parted ways. Bax bit his lip and decided that one of his next orders of business had to be finding those six poor souls and bringing them some place safe.
The Holy Order of the Magi crossed Bax’s mind next. He was still bothered by the chain of events that had occurred with them. First, the initial team of Rivel, Eve, and Teras had attacked him in Midgar months ago and barely been driven away by the timely aid of Zack and Prodigi. Then, as far as he knew from Sephiroth X, they had been killed for failing their mission and not apprehending Bax. Then, when Bax was trying to evade the Holy Order, he met up with a new team in Nibelheim: Kerlin, Daito, and Marco. They and Zion’s army had nearly destroyed Nibelheim and Bax barely escaped with his life thanks to Black Spider and Keldira.
Bax fled to Midgar, and then to the Super City, where after the climactic Battle for the Element of Prosperity, he had laid in relative quiet before being attacked by Kerlin, Daito, and Marco again. He didn’t know how they had found him, but he managed to fight them and then escaped back to Midgar (into the depths of hell itself) with Zack and Jack. Then, once he had thought he had finally evaded the Order and would be safe for a while at least, the resurrected first team attacked him and succeeded in apprehending him. More disturbing, the second team appeared out of nowhere and engaged the first in combat to the death. They fought over him. When Black Spider saved him once again, they chose to work together and nearly captured him again.
It seemed like Bax had been helpless against the Order in every conflict and had to be saved. Again and again, he had been unable to truly best them. But it seemed like there were conflicts within the Order, too—they didn’t trust each other and were prone to squabbling. Perhaps Bax could use that to his advantage…
Bax smiled a little. True, the Magi in the Holy Order were powerful, but they had weaknesses that could be exploited. If Bax could figure those out, he and his allies would be able to take them down. Unfortunately, Bax still didn’t know what the Order really wanted. As far as he could tell, they wanted Bax’s powers and potential with Keldira and Necrostiana, and they also wanted the Element of Prosperity. But he didn’t know what their stance was with Valtiel. Would they work with him or against him? Moreover, would Valtiel work with them, use them, or crush them if given the chance? There were variables that Bax didn’t quite understand.
There was also the Order’s apparent conflict with Zion and the Senate. While the Order and the Senate had appeared to work together for quite a while, they were now at each other’s throats. Bax didn’t know the details, but Rivel, Eve, and Teras had revealed the choice tidbit that the Senate had kicked them out of their headquarters in Zion. He didn’t know when or why Zion had turned against the Order, but it could be to his advantage. While it unfortunately meant that Bax no longer knew where they headquartered, it also meant that the Order was now working without the military support of Zion. While the Senate had not been too much of a thorn in Bax’s side, they had still attacked him early on and caused him more than a few problems. They could become more of a problem in the future. He had to be wary of their movements.
Bax’s thoughts about Zion led him to think about Nibelheim. He wondered what had become of the town of ex-Soldiers. He had left in such a hurry that he had no clue who had survived and who had been killed. Was the town anything more than a black spot on the ground anymore? They had holed up in that courtyard for a last stand while most of the town burned, and then they had been attacked by Kerlin, Daito, and Marco. They had driven out the Magi, but had they managed to hold up against the rest of Zion’s forces? Bax thought about the individuals he had met there and shook his head. Once again, he brought destruction on all those around him. He decided that after he found those poor people from Midgar that he would go find Nibelheim again and see what had become of them.
Bax wondered about Lynx, too. He hadn’t seen him since Nibelheim either. What had he been up to in the month or so since the events in that city? He had always been a mysterious figure, but Bax was concerned about him. After all, he had been knee-deep in that quest of his when things went haywire for him (in more ways than one). Bax hoped to find him at some point—he could prove a powerful ally in the upcoming battles.
As Bax neared the end of his pushup exercises, his thoughts drifted to his current situation. He had to find out where he was. He seemed to be with a bunch of drifters, but he didn’t know anything beyond that. Sephiroth X (whose strange powers now seemed wild and out of control) had sent him here, so he was probably around. Zack and Black Spider were here. Bax wondered if Jack was anywhere in the vicinity, and what had become of him since Midgar. And Bax even wondered about Prodigi, whom he hadn’t seen in nearly 2 months now. Had he made it out of Midgar? There were so many things that Bax didn’t know…and he needed to find answers.
Last, Bax considered the bracelet on his wrist. He didn’t know anything about it other than that Rivel had made it and that it was sapping all of his strength. He needed to gather information about it and figure out how to get it off. Until then, he would try to sharpen his other faculties so that he would be ready for the enemy’s next move.
Bax grunted as he lifted up from his regiment of pushups and he stretched briefly to try and dull the pain a little. It had taken more out of him than he expected. His injuries and the effects of the bracelet were greater than he expected. Even with these deficiencies, though, he felt like he could manage some more training without too much trouble. He took a crouching stance and kicked his right foot high in the air. He felt a sharp pain engulf his side and his eyes crossed as he fell back onto the ground. He inhaled jaggedly and moved his hand down to feel the hot wetness of his blood as it trickled out of his stitching. That last move had torn the stitches a little. Damn it…he had been too stubborn and come out to train too fast and too hard. He lay flat on his back and flopped out, trying to wait for the skin to close up and stop bleeding.
Zack barely heard something, but it was still enough to rouse him from his sleep. He jerked his head up, then looked with shock at the empty bed. He immediately sprang up, looking around quickly, then shot out of the tent, head whipping in all directions. It took him a moment to spot Bax; the sun was barely up, painting the sky a similar red to his not quite vibrant head-flame. Zack rushed over. "Bax! What the hell are you doing out here?!" he cried out in high pitch. His eyes were wide and worried as he skidded to a stop standing over him.
Bax looked up at the worried Zack and shrugged a little. "Lying on the ground and bleeding."
He chuckled and waved his hand, then answered more seriously, "No, no...I have been training a little. That is all. After all...I can not use my fire, so I have got to do something."
Zack narrowed his eyes, fists clenched, still standing. "Bax! Did your brain get damaged too!? I thought you would be smart enough to know that it's WAY too soon to do crap like this! All you're gonna do is hurt yourself worse! THEN what can you possibly do?! You need to get better first, you idiot!" He re-clenched his fists in his own hair, pulling for a moment, before lowering his hands over his eyes and emitting something between a frustrated growl and a long sad whine.
Bax blinked his eyes a few times, and then wrinkled his face in sorry disappointment. "I...I am sorry, Zack. I just wanted to...I just..."
Bax drew himself up to a seated position and looked up at Zack. "I can not simply sit idly while Valtiel and the Holy Order grow stronger every day. Every second that I sit and do nothing is a second that they have in their favor..."
Zack ran his hands down to his chin, then let them dangle helplessly at his sides as he sighed, shaking his head. "I know... I know it's hard to just sit around... But what good is it if you keep undoing any healing you've done? It's like sleeping; you just need to do it sometimes. Otherwise you'll fall apart when we need to actually do something." He knelt next to Bax, laying a hand on his shoulder, head lowered. "Came close enough to losin' you I dunno how many times. Last thing we need is for you to go downhill again already... I'll help you back in, ok?"
Bax put his hand on his friend's shoulder and let him help him to his feet with a reserved a meek "thank you." They walked slowly back into the tent. Bax grimaced a little--not so much from his injury, but from seeing how he had caused his friend such grief. Zack had a point, he supposed...he had to play a delicate balancing game now between healing and training. He couldn't lose what little edge he still possessed.
He sat back on his bed and sighed. "Well if I can not train much physically right now, I might as well meditate and focus my mind. That is the only thing I have not truly lost as a result of this bracelet..."
Zack forced a small, tired smirk. "You sure about that?" he asked, crossing his arms.
Bax chuckled a little, "I know that you think I am crazy for going out there to train, but I promise I am of clear mind. I have undergone intense meditation for at least an hour every day for 10 or 15 years...I can do this."
The teen's expression relaxed a bit into a small smile. "Alright. If you don't want distracted I can go, wander around or something."
"Well," Bax began, touching his finger to his chin, "I do not wish to kick you out. If you want, I can even show you what I do if you are interested. You can try the meditation as well."
The smile widened a bit. "That'd be awesome. Yeah, I'll give it a go. What do I do, that sitting cross-legged thingie going-" He closed his eyes and put his fingertips together, murmuring, "-hummmm-diddlediddle?"
Bax laughed heartily until he felt a sharp stab in his abdomen. He stopped his laughing and looked at Zack with a smile. "Not exactly," Bax said, amused by the stereotypical stance that his friend took on.
Zack instinctively raised a hand with a look of concern at Bax's pain, before forcing himself to relax again and pay attention.
Bax moved fully onto the bed and backed up against the slightly raised back board. "The trick for the meditation practices that I follow is to find a fairly immobilized position that you can maintain for long periods of time. An hour or more, usually. But we will try 30 minutes of meditation for now unless you think you can go for more."
Bax drew himself into a familiar cross-legged position, but one that did not put any strain on his legs. He stretched his arms out and cracked his fingers before clapping his lands lightly together and folding and intertwining all his fingers but his index fingers and thumbs. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"For this meditation, we are trying to close out the distractions of the world around us while heightening our other senses. For this reason, we close our eyes and try to find as quiet a place as possible. As long as our senses are mostly deprived, it works. That way, if anything does happen, we will be more aware of it."
Bax opened his eyes briefly to observe Zack. The teen took up his position on the chair nearby, scooting around a bit until he felt comfortable, then imitating Bax's hand position with a couple of double-checks. Then he sighed slowly, closing his eyes as well, trying to concentrate on his raw self rather than thoughts and surroundings. He figured it might take a bit, so he waited patiently as he shifted his focus. But then he frowned a bit. "Two of 'em don't want me to. They won't be quiet," he muttered.
Bax shifted his eyes over to Zack in confusion, and he studied his friend. Two of whom? What was Zack talking about? Bax shrugged and shook his head, choosing not to think too hard about it.
"Well...as we deprive our senses, we also want to clear our thoughts. The best way for me to do this is to settle into a pattern of rhythmic breathing: breathing in and out calmly but fully while counting. If you focus on this activity, your mind should clear itself. Eventually, this breathing pattern and the sense deprivation should become like second nature and we should be able to enter a trance-like state in which we can access our deeper consciousness."
Bax closed his eyes again and began to follow his own instructions. "If you are having any trouble or have any questions, please let me know."
Zack quietly answered, "Ok," and began to focus on his breathing. In... Out... In... Out... One... Two... He could always feel people buzzing around him, but it did seem more intense now, without light and colors to distract him. But every time he felt his awareness shifting, it was pushed back as if hitting a brick wall. "Oh, come on..." he murmured in a whisper, not realizing he was doing so out loud. "...You never let me do that........... Don't be scared, it's ok............." His voice rose to speaking level now, a bit frustrated, his brow furrowed. "I'm not even opening the door, sheesh what's wrong with--"
His eyes opened, looking glassy, then puzzled. He scratched his head and chuckled, "Heh, oh man, this is kinda hard." He looked different than before somehow... More like, he looked like he usually looked, but had not been looking ever since Bax had returned in his poor state. Bright yet shallow.
Bax opened his eyes again and trembled a little at the strange words coming out of Zack's mouth. He was even more taken aback by the odd subtle change in his appearance. What was going on? He wondered suddenly if this was such a good idea.
"Uh, Zack," he began, "We can stop if you would like. If this is too...hard...we do not have to keep going."
Zack frowned a bit, "Aww, I wanna though! It's just those guys give me a hard time whenever I..." his words stopped but his mouth opened and closed a few more times. Then he looked puzzled and scratched his head again. "Uhhhh... Maybe I just can't do it, same way I can't see some color-- Wait, I can... Uh..." He tapped his chin, his movements pronounced and exaggerated as he took on a stereotypical thinking pose for a moment, then shrugged deeply. "Oh well, I'll just take a nap. You can keep goin'." He folded his arms up behind his head and crossed his ankles on the floor, closing his eyes, a small grin plastered to his face.
Bax shook visibly as beads of sweat dotted his brow. Those guys? Color deficiencies? What was going on? Zack was speaking in such confusing terms and nothing coming out of his mouth seemed to make sense! Even if he wanted to, Bax didn't think he could focus enough to meditate properly. He broke his pose and stood up, then went over to Zack.
"Zack...what is going on? There is something that you are not telling me, is there not?"
Zack opened one eye casually, then slowly the other slid open, both going distant and wavering a bit. The boy lowered his arms and sat up normally in the chair, looking at Bax, wanting to speak and yet obviously unsure on several levels. Then his hands wrung together, and his eyes lowered to watch them. In a very quiet, young-sounding voice, he asked, "...Is it weird... that I have a few people in my head?"
Bax's eyes widened, but then softened to hear what Zack was saying. If he were anyone else, he probably would have immediately told Zack that he was out of his mind. But Bax didn't want to be a hypocrite.
"You couldn't be a hypocrite to save your life. Fess up, boy."
Bax sighed and shook his head, "No, actually. It is unexpected, I will admit, but it is not weird."
Bax looked around him, especially at the opening of the tent, and then he leaned in close to Zack. "Can I let you in on a little secret?" he whispered.
The teen hesitantly raised his head, looking up at Bax wonderingly. "What is it?"
Bax smiled as he looked at Zack, and he raised a finger to point at his head. "I have got someone else up here, too."
Zack's eyes widened a bit, then he partially smiled, though still a bit nervous. "Heh... Wow... Well then... maybe it really isn't too weird... Mine won't let me think too hard."
Bax slowly began to put details together in his mind. As he observed Zack in a new light through the filter of this information, many confusing things about Zack began to make sense. Bax didn't understand what kinds of "personalities" kept Zack company, but he was almost positive that it was not like his own inner darkness. Either way, the mysterious scarred teen lying before Bax was beginning to make more sense.
"Mine is a real asshole," Bax attempted to move conversationally, "but I keep him in check. That is part of the reason why I meditate every day. He and I do not get along."
Zack cocked his head a bit, smirking for a moment, then frowning as his eyes mellowed back to match who he had been this past day. Deeper, but still a bit closed off, and warm. "That really sucks... I'm sorry you have it that rough, I had no idea... Hope he doesn't get a turn at the window. But if he ever were to, I'll do my best to call you back." The eyes then shifted one more time, extra sparky again, as he declared, "Guess we all can have each others' backs! Us multi's gotta stick together!"
Bax laughed, albeit a little uneasily (though he tried to mask this nervousness as best as possible). "Thank you, Zack. It is usually not too bad, but he can get in the way. What about you and your...situation?"
Zack sighed, clearly trying to analyze himself a bit, but his eyes kept bouncing back and forth, and he finally shook his head and sighed. "I dunno... It's hard to explain, cuz I can't think very hard."
Bax leaned back a little casually, breaking his pose and looking at Zack a little more closely. He had to watch closely to see if he could detect any physical changes (twitching, shudders, sudden movements) that could implicate a personality shift). He wanted to learn what he could about Zack's own multi-dimensionality...at the very least so that he could better understand his friend, but also so that he could help him if he needed it.
"Does anybody else know, Zack?" he asked, trying not to appear too put-off.
The teen leaned forward a bit, looking at the floor, hand to his jaw as he thought, closing his eyes for a moment. Then they opened, and seemed a darker shade, serious and more narrowed. He sat up straighter, seeming solid and confident yet still cautious and a little defensive. His voice lowered in tone as well. Much as the few times he had been deathly serious before, such as in battle. The only time he really looked like a warrior and seemed to fit his clothing, weapons, and scars. "I believe Sephiroth X knows... He entered my mind once a while back, to help me remember a few skills I had to put away. Others may suspect, but they haven't been told."
Bax just barely saw the change as it happened, though its effects were obvious once Zack began to speak. Bax blinked his eyes a few times, then watched and listened carefully.
"I see," he said. He would have to confer with Sephiroth X later about this and figure out what he knew. Suddenly, Bax got an idea, and he looked at Zack with intrigue and a little bit of mischief. He knew it could be dangerous, but he wanted to try something...
"Zack,” Bax began simply, “do you think it would be possible for me to...talk to them?"
The teen cocked his head slightly, expression still serious though looking puzzled, then contemplative. "I'm not sure if it works that way... It's been best not to overthink all of this... Hadn't even realized on a conscious level that it's an... 'us' situation until just now... I suppose we can try though." His eyes closed again, a bit longer than a blink, before re-opening to become wide and bright again. Youthful and innocent, they often lowered or diverted as he spoke, as Zack sat in a meek posture poking his fingertips together. "Umm... I guess this is like, it. Uh... I'm just kinda... here."
Bax looked surprised. He had half expected to half to guide Zack through a full trance sequence and touch his mind. But these changes were rapid, and each facet of himself was both self-aware and aware of the others at all times. It was...fascinating, though a bit frightening.
"Okay," he said. "Well...hi. I guess you are all Zack, right? No different names or anything like that. Just very...distinct parts of yourself. Maybe?"
The kid lowered his eyes and head, scratching the edges of some of his fingernails with the edges of other fingernails, before he quietly mumbled, "...I dunno... I'm not allowed to think about it...." Another long blink, and his posture completely relaxed and opened up. Zack waved dismissively as he leaned back and crossed his ankle over his thigh. "Eh, nah, I'm just Zack Strife. It's a good name. You know it, chicks dig it."
Bax's head went back as his eyes widened, but then he too relaxed and smiled, leaning forward again. This was a side of Zack that he didn't think he had ever seen before. From anyone else, these would just be like different parts of same person. But in Zack...it was like they were totally different people.
"It is a good name," he said, smiling, unsure of what else to say as Zack went through personalities like cards in a playing deck. It was almost like a show.
The teen shrugged, then did the all-too-familiar scratching of the back of his head. "Soooo.... Any particular questions?" He then folded his arms behind his head again, casually. "Then again, I'm usually the one out. Cuz I'm me an' all. So you prolly know pretty much all there is to know about me-me here. That is, if you can manage to catch stuff that pops outta my mouth, since I do kinda barf out a dictionary whenever I wanna get a point across. Though I don't know that many words so they prolly repeat a whole bunch, though I try an' keep it creative at least a little."
Then he cocked his head, then leaned forward and apologetically flopped his arms as he more desperately spewed, "Oh, I mean, I'm not tryin' to say your vocabulary's small too, you've come WAY further than even me prolly cuz the Desert doesn't exactly have the best school district, so you're like way better at English than I am, so you prolly have no problem with all this crap, so don't take it the wrong way or anything, but if you DO need help then lemme know an' I'll try but I'm not really all that great at teachin' stuff, not that you need me to, but well, you know what I mean right?" He waited apprehensively for confirmation.
Bax once again started blinking rapidly as Zack experience severe diarrhea of the mouth and waved his arms about. He almost got dizzy watching him. Yes, he had seen this facet of Zack many many times before. After he got over the initial quiet shock from Zack's intense, run-on monologue, he bent his head down and began to guffaw. His eyes ran with tears as a joyful expression ran across his face and he descended into snickers and chuckling.
"I am sorry, Zack, I am sorry!" he gasped out, searching for air. "It is just that you give me the giggles! Oh, you are always you, are you not?" He started laughing again with a great smile on his face.
Zack looked relieved that he hadn't insulted his friend, and he chuckled a bit, scratching the back of his head again. "Heh, well, as me as I can be at any given time... Um, let's see... there's a couple more folks I think, but they're like, real downers. But, I guess everyone gets a turn. Ciao!" He winked, then the other eye slid closed, quite a bit longer than previous 'switches'.
His grin faded into stern neutrality, and the eyes opened once more to the serious character from before. "Hm," he said in a low tone, "I'm surprised at how this works... I'm not sure if the others will remember this for long. But I can keep record. I keep what might otherwise complicate things. This would be a good mode for questions; I know the situation when I need to, but can close it off if it gets too risky."
Bax's laughing faded with the introduction of this new character, and he listened intently. "You seem like the most...aware. Can you tell me anything about...I do not mean to offend, but...why do you all exist?"
The young man's lips tightened slightly, then he raised his arms, pulling down the new long gloves to reveal the scarred flesh. "I'd imagine it has a lot to do with all this. Probably other things too." As he eyed the jagged imperfections, he continued, "Sometimes a few things out here in the world seem to contradict what I'm allowed to access. There's a door separating me - us - from a lot of things. Dangerous things. It's my job to keep those things at bay whenever the door breaks open. To keep the rest, especially the important one, safe. Both inside, and out here. They can all fight, but I am the most capable."
Bax looked at the scars which Zack was normally embarrassed about, but that he now showed almost readily. The young man fascinated him more and more by the second. Obviously this one was an important facet of Zack's persona. "The important one?" Bax asked quizzically.
His eyes closed one more time, then opened to the warm, deep, sincere blue that Bax had seen worry over him this past day and night. The blue that had welcomed Bax's awakening back in the Senate prison. The blue that had wept in the Desert of the Dead when concern for Bax overshadowed the boy's own well-being. "...I guess... me." The eyes lowered, as if he felt unworthy of such focus.
Even though there were no direct physical changes, the effect of the personality shift was unmistakable. The shy, worry-torn Zack looked him in the eyes with intense, unworthy meekness.
"So you are the one? I know that look. I saw that look last night."
The boy nodded slowly. Not as childlike as the first had been, but world-worn. "Well... I've been here with you. It's important to be here for you... Just wish I could have kept things from getting as bad as they have." His eyes lowered. He was still, not fidgeting, just somehow tired.
"It is not your fault," Bax said immediately. He looked with kind eyes and Zack and wished suddenly that he was next to Zack so that he could put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I promise it is not your fault, Zack...I will do my best not to get hurt, and I will protect you, too. That is...with or without my powers. We will win...okay?"
Rather than vaulting back into the cheerful facet as he usually would in such a situation, the boy only looked up with a small glimmer of hope in his eyes, as well as relief, and he nodded, the barest hint of a smile edging his lips. "...Ok... I'll fight extra hard too. If I can do anything, I will."
Bax half-smiled and nodded. That would do. That would more than do it. "I know you will, Zack. I know." He got off of the bed and walked slowly over to Zack. He tried to gauge him, and then decided to move in. He knelt down next to where Zack was sitting and rolled his long glove-sleeve back to cover the scars, and then embraced his friend silently.
Zack grew a bit tense, then let out his breath in a sigh and closed his eyes. Somehow, he felt like a strong need he didn't realize he'd had was being tended to. As if some silent pain were being comforted. He returned the gesture in gratitude, whispering, "...thank you, Bax..."
Bax nodded quietly as he held his friend, glad for a peaceful moment in the midst of this war that was tearing them physically and mentally apart. A lone tear slipped down his cheek and he smiled. "Do not mention it."
IC:
In the wake of the sudden arrival of Dark Crono and his sudden alliance with Sephiroth X, Bax stared wearily at Zack, his disturbed mind holding sleep from him and forcing him to comprehend what had just occurred.
Zack was still staring at where they had departed from, eyes distant, blinking slowly. Then he lowered his head, squeezing his hands into tight fists. “Damn it... I should have gone with him... I just... DAMN it! What makes him think he can trust Crono?! He's gonna backstab him or somethin'! And something just didn't feel right about Sephy, either... What's goin' on?! Damn...”
Bax shook his head as an unsettling knot wrenched his stomach in all directions. “I know Zack...I do not like this either...”
“I mean jeez!” the teen continued, beginning to pace the room, staring at the floor ahead of him and gesturing in angry jerks. “Whatever he did to get strong, did it go to his head?! I mean, I know he kicked the shit outta the Magi, but this is still Valtiel we're talkin’ about, AND Crono! I know I'm nowhere near as strong as any of ‘em, but he shouldn't be goin' out there alone! Any extra eyes, extra blades, woulda helped... Is he that arrogant now?!”
He swung to look at a table with a few empty bowls on it, and tensed as if ready to strike the metal objects across the room, but he aborted before truly starting the motion and lowered his head, shaking it back and forth with an angry yet somewhat defeated sigh. “Stupid bastard... I'm so worried about him that I hate him!”
Bax raised his head and gazed with tired eyes at Zack, who had clearly gone beyond sheer frustration to anger. Bax had rarely seen Zack like this. And even though this kind of behavior was warranted to some degree, it still shocked Bax.
“Zack, please,” Bax began, raising a hand towards his friend. “Calm yourself...he can make his own decisions...even if they are bad decisions...”
Zack's head snapped toward Bax, his eyes wide and nearly panicked. “Bax! You weren’t here when Sephy was talking about how he'd obtain more power.”
He walked toward his friend with his hands gesturing again, still angry but mostly worried. “The folks here were talking about a previous Warrior of Prosperity who had fallen into darkness, an’ it was his sword that held that essence. An’ there's a soothsayer here who said something in another language about 'burning with violent anger' or somethin’, then she said, ‘Sephiroth!’ I was already worried about the whole thing... Worried that he might not be able to fight that darkness if he found that power.”
He stopped, looking Bax right in the eye. “Well, he found it obviously... Now what if he isn't really making his own decisions anymore?”
A shiver went down Bax's spine as he listened to Zack speak. No wonder Sephiroth’s power felt so out of control...what a frightening development. Bax knew how lucrative that dark power could be...and how destructive it got when unleashed. And now that he had joined forces with Dark Crono. Things were getting dark indeed...
Bax nodded his head and sighed, “Unfortunately, Zack, there is nothing that we can do right now other than trust Sephiroth and hope that he makes it back here in one piece. Until that time...he was right. I am out of commission, so I know that I can not do anything other than try to smack some sense into his head when he gets back. Our options are limited.”
Zack sighed and nodded slowly, his arms and head dropping. “I know... You're right... Sephy's been through a lot, but still kept his head... Or at least got it back... I should have more faith in him, that he can keep pullin' it off...”
He put a hand to his chest, then clenched it over part of the cloth of his shirt. “But... I wish I was there... to make sure...”
“I know Zack...I know...”
Bax yawned and laid his head down. “Damn it...even with that excitement, I am tired...”
The teen sighed, sitting back down in his chair and leaning his back against the bed post, arms and legs folded. “Yeah... You need your rest...” He sighed, and said nothing more, giving Bax's pull toward sleep the silence it needed.
As Bax slept in relative peace for the first time in a long time, his mind refused to stay down. His body rested, but his psyche raged…he dreamed, yet it was not a dream. It was a nightmare…
Crushing darkness swirled around Bax. He spun around in horror as he was assaulted by verbal demons, harassing him while he had nowhere to run.
“Look at him, he’s so scared!”
“He can’t even fight anymore!”
“What a weakling.”
“He doesn’t deserve to be a king.”
“He doesn’t even deserve to be alive.”
“It’s a shame Drax died. He wouldn’t have let thousands of people die.”
“Why couldn’t it have been this pawn instead? What’s so special about him?”
“Nothing. That’s why he’s in the shape he is now.”
“Of course. He couldn’t even save his first wife.”
“And now he’s just going to have to let his second wife and his little boy move on without him.”
“They’ll be better off with him, anyhow.”
“All of Auralis will be better off without Bax Firago.”
“Why won’t he just die already?”
Bax pitched to his knees as the harsh jeers rang all around him. The voices…he recognized him…they were all the voices of his fallen comrades…the ones that had died in the ship crash here on Earth. Bax sank into a murky pool of blackness and was engulfed in the void of the darkness. The voices only got louder…
“He’s worthless! He says he thinks of others alone, but then goes off to save his own hide.”
“I feel sorry for anyone who feels like they can trust him.”
“He’ll only let them all down.”
“Even if he lives…even if he gets back to Auralis…he’ll just let everyone down.”
“He should have dwindled into obscurity.”
They were all fears that Bax hoped and prayed every day were not true. He always tried to do his best for his people…but he worried constantly that people were judging him and wishing that they still had his father or his brother at the helm. After all, they had been great men…even if Drax had been a member of that wicked cult, the Children of the Shadows, he had certainly done many great things for Auralis in his short reign, hadn’t he? Bax had to believe in his brother…
But he worried because…because of all the turmoil that had impacted Auralis in the last 10 years since Bax became the king. They had been invaded on his coronation day and been heavily involved in two other wars. He had continued what his grandfather had begun almost 100 years ago in his attempts to rebuild Auralis’ economy, military, and most importantly, its reputation, after a long tyrannical reign under his great-grandfather Revelle. They had made several important technological advances in the last 10 years, and had established important political alliances, but…
“He thinks that he’s so great. Just because he’s a Firago.”
“It’s not like they’re infallible.”
“Who put them in charge anyway?”
“Who cares? We don’t need someone leading us who can’t even save himself.”
“Shut up!” Bax screamed. The darkness was consumed in flames which intermingled with the dense shadows and spun around Bax.
“You’re just going to tell them to shut up?” the gruff voices that Bax had recently come to associate with his sword, the Valermos, responded in the darkness. “If you disagree, do something about it.”
Bax found himself somehow stable on his hands and his knees, and he looked up to see the shadows and flames forming before him. But Bax’s vision was blurry in this dark sphere, so he couldn’t tell what this was. Was the Valermos manifesting before him? Did that even make sense?
“But what can I do?” he asked. “I have lost my ability to fight!”
“Have you? Or have you rather lost the will to fight?”
Bax opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted.
“I know what happened, Bax. But get a grip. You may have been sealed away, but that shouldn’t stop you.”
Bax nodded. Perhaps this…thing…was right. He just needed to focus…then he would be able to make things work. He wouldn’t lose. And he wouldn’t let his people down. He wouldn’t let his insecurities get the best of him.
“Thank you,” he said, but the flames had already dissipated. Instead, Bax stood as the darkness around him gave way to a new scene. He fell into a chair and found himself in the tent where his physical body lay—staring at his darker self in a chair opposite him. It was like looking into a mirror that was tinted…or tainted…those dark, grim eyes stared back at him with piercing hate and made his blood run cold. The darker Bax was silhouetted in a strange light that glowed from the mouth of the tent. So Bax could barely see the expression on his face, though he certainly appeared agitated.
“Why do you trouble me while I sleep? Can’t I get any respite?”
“No rest for the weary, Bax. I can’t believe you are sleeping so calmly.”
Bax sighed, “I’ve nearly died many times over the past few days. I think I’ve got a right to rest a little.”
The silhouetted body lurched a little in a huff. “A right. Do you even listen to yourself speak? What a crock! Get yourself together, dumbass!”
Bax turned to the side in his chair and shook his head, “Did you come to insult me or do you want something?”
A slight dark chuckle crept from across the room, “I want to have my cake and eat it, too. It’s too much fun to insult you, but I want something too. I want the same thing I always do. I want to rule.”
Bax rolled his eyes. “Fat chance. My body. My rules.”
“Our body,” came the sharp response. “You want the power, you deal with me. Your ancestors understood that, didn’t they?”
Bax growled low, “None of us signed up for this.”
“Look at history!” He sounded irritated now. “Your forefathers knew what they were doing when they made just one of your race different. One meant for greatness. One who might be able to lead them to victory if they were ever threatened. And so they found their savior when they needed him and he became the first king.”
He spoke of Kijix, the 3rd generation Phoeniyan who led the Phoeniyan forces as the head general and was then made king. But what did that have to do with this?
“And consider Hokarix, who was so terrified of tapping into the vast wellspring of power within himself that he led Auralis to ruin. But his son, Revelle! Ahh, Revelle knew what it meant to grasp power, even if he did become a little drunk with it. Everyone else has managed understand how to use this power. But you have separated yourself from me and tried to suppress me. Can’t you just see I want to give you power?”
“Dark power.”
“Light, dark, come on! What is the difference? You’re a king! Power is power is power.”
“Not to me it isn’t.”
The silhouetted figure leaned closer to Bax. “You don’t get it. We’re meant to rule together! We’re different for a reason! After ten years, you’d think maybe you could embrace that!”
Bax turned again to face his darker self and his sullen countenance twisted into a snarl. “I don’t need your power. I can defeat Valtiel…and the Order…and the Children of the Shadows without you.”
A moment of silence ensued. Then, the figure opposite bowed his head and sighed. “You’re impossible.”
Bax shook his head, “You’ll see.”
“Perhaps. But when you finally get it through your thick skull that you’re helpless by yourself, I’ll be here to get your ass out of a jam. And I’ll lay waste to those enemies and anyone else who gets in my way.”
Bax shivered, “That’s why I don’t want you in control.”
“There will always be collateral. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you’ll be able to get back to your lovely wife and child. And the sooner you’ll be able to be an effective king. You can’t save everyone, you know. Some people are going to die. Before this is all over, you’ll have to kill and you’ll have to let people die. If you try to save everyone else, you won’t be able to save yourself.”
Bax took a deep breath, licked his lips, and stood from his chair. “I’ll find a way.”
Another sigh. “Suit yourself.” Bax turned to resume his favored position of reclining in the bed, but his darker self added one last comment. “Idiot.”
Bax lay down and closed his eyes, trying to shut out the presence of his dark self…the subconscious voice in the back of his mind. Bax knew he was a liar, but his words and offers seemed more lucrative than ever now. Bax just had to loose himself from the dark, iron grip on his mind. Perhaps he could still get a little sleep…
Before he drifted off, though, he heard the voice of his inner darkness whispering in his ear. He kept his eyes closed, but listened.
“And I do want something else, Bax. Other than control.”
“What?”
“…I don’t trust that Crono. And since your silver-haired friend has joined forces with him, I’m worried about him, too. Be careful…”
Bax opened his eyes and saw his darker self standing above him with a little concern etched onto his face. Bax looked surprised, and he nodded. What was this about?
Bax opened his eyes (again) and shook his “dreaming” away with a vigorous shake of his head. Just like the night before, he had pants on, but no shirt. A black shirt that looked about his size hung on a hook on the other side of the tent. Bax looked down and saw Zack sleeping peacefully next to him. The spiky-haired teen had fallen asleep in a chair next to Bax, and his right arm was lying limply on Bax’s arm—trying to make sure he didn’t go anywhere. It looked like a kind of uncomfortable position. His head rested on the bed post and his mouth hung open a little in the corner, where a small spot of drool trickled down his chin. The poor kid…
Bax observed the needles in his arms and the variety of pads attached to various parts of his body. The saline bags that they had hooked up to him were now drained dry—no had been here in a while it seemed. Bax reached for a piece of gauze next to his bed. He took a deep breath and held it as he removed the needle on his right arm. He quickly pressed the gauze to the raised and bruised area and held his arm up to let the wound close. After a moment he was satisfied, and he repeated the procedure on his other arm. Once he had both needles out of his arms, he slowly pulled the other wires from his body and shifted Zack to a more comfortable position with his head resting on a pillow on the bed instead of on the cold, hard metal of the post. He pushed his chair closer to the bed and grabbed a folded blanket from the foot of the bed and threw it on Zack. He smiled to see his friend sleeping so peacefully and strode across the tent towards the black shirt. He rubbed the slightly irritated patches of skin where he had just yanked monitoring instruments from and pulled the shirt on, trying to ignore the nasty looking stitches on his abdomen. He turned to leave the tent, but thought better of it and returned to the roll of gauze next to his bed. He picked it up and rolled it around his hands and abdomen a few times to give himself basic wrappings. Satisfied, he left the tent.
As he emerged outside, he breathed in the cool, dry desert air. The sun was still low in the sky and this place, wherever he was, was painted with a myriad of cool reds and blues as the light trickled around the tents and played with the shadows. Bax didn’t know what time it was, but it was very early. He didn’t see any movement at this end of the camp, though he heard the low barking of a few dogs far away. It would seem that wherever he was, people didn’t get up too early.
It was a nice morning, though, unlike the last two times he had woken up (when it had been raining once and was miserably hot the other). Bax raised his arms and stretched in, taking a nice deep breath of the lightly sweet air. After the madness of the past few days, he admitted that it was very nice to wake up without fearing certain death. There was something about this place that just calmed Bax in a way that he had not felt in…weeks or more. It felt a little bit like Nibelheim, actually (before the incident with Lynx, and then the attack by Zion’s army). It was just…nice. Even though he didn’t know anything about it. After all, he had only been conscious here for those few minutes when he spoke to Zack the day before. He seemed to remember people dressed as drifters when he made it here, but the details of his arrival at this place were very blurry. He didn’t remember anything about getting here distinctly, other than that Sephiroth X had appeared in the midst of Black Spider’s battle with the Magi and allowed them to escape. What had happened?
Bax strode a few paces from the tent to a slightly open space where he had a little bit of room to exercise and train. He knew that he was injured, but he couldn’t bring himself to just lie down and do nothing. After all, his enemies on this planet were probably not just sitting idly by. They were no doubt training and making preparations and plans. Bax had to do something…
He stretched a little bit and then dropped to his hands and toes to start doing pushups. He usually did some basic strength training as a part of his daily exercises. He usually went for about 1000 pushups, but he would take it easy today and start out with 500 and see how he felt after that. He positioned his hands and went to work.
Over the next ten or fifteen minutes of pushups, Bax considered what he knew and tried to plan his next move. He couldn’t stop thinking and planning for a moment if he wanted to keep up with his enemies.
The most disturbing of recent events, of course, was the sudden reappearance of Dark Crono in their lives. Bax thought that Crono had been killed by Sephiroth X, but he had just appeared in the tent at X’s beckoning. And now the two of them, heated enemies less than a month before at their climactic battle for the Element, were joining forces to lead a strike on Valtiel. It would certainly be a powerful struggle, but Bax felt intensely uneasy about the alliance and the effect that it would have on the rest of the group. He had worked tentatively with former enemies in the past, but it was never this intimate…
Hodia was now in cahoots with Valtiel, and they had Midgar under siege with an unholy army of destruction at their disposal. He didn’t know exactly what they had planned, but he was sure that Valtiel would try to exert his control over even more of this planet using Midgar as his base of operations. That sadistic force had an incredible amount of power, and it could only spell bad news for this planet. The fact that Hodia had joined him as well…and that she had manipulated so many events to further this event…it bothered Bax more than he could say. He didn’t know what she was capable of now. Either way, the next confrontation with the harbingers of Apocalypse would not be pretty…Bax hoped that Sephiroth X knew what he was really getting himself into…
Then there was that group from Midgar that Bax had traveled with. He had seen two of them get injured by Rivel, Eve, and Teras. The group was well equipped, but he knew how difficult it was to travel economically with injured party members. And since they were in the desert, they would have found it difficult to find a good place to rest or heal. Bax was truly worried about them…he wondered how they had fared since they had parted ways. Bax bit his lip and decided that one of his next orders of business had to be finding those six poor souls and bringing them some place safe.
The Holy Order of the Magi crossed Bax’s mind next. He was still bothered by the chain of events that had occurred with them. First, the initial team of Rivel, Eve, and Teras had attacked him in Midgar months ago and barely been driven away by the timely aid of Zack and Prodigi. Then, as far as he knew from Sephiroth X, they had been killed for failing their mission and not apprehending Bax. Then, when Bax was trying to evade the Holy Order, he met up with a new team in Nibelheim: Kerlin, Daito, and Marco. They and Zion’s army had nearly destroyed Nibelheim and Bax barely escaped with his life thanks to Black Spider and Keldira.
Bax fled to Midgar, and then to the Super City, where after the climactic Battle for the Element of Prosperity, he had laid in relative quiet before being attacked by Kerlin, Daito, and Marco again. He didn’t know how they had found him, but he managed to fight them and then escaped back to Midgar (into the depths of hell itself) with Zack and Jack. Then, once he had thought he had finally evaded the Order and would be safe for a while at least, the resurrected first team attacked him and succeeded in apprehending him. More disturbing, the second team appeared out of nowhere and engaged the first in combat to the death. They fought over him. When Black Spider saved him once again, they chose to work together and nearly captured him again.
It seemed like Bax had been helpless against the Order in every conflict and had to be saved. Again and again, he had been unable to truly best them. But it seemed like there were conflicts within the Order, too—they didn’t trust each other and were prone to squabbling. Perhaps Bax could use that to his advantage…
Bax smiled a little. True, the Magi in the Holy Order were powerful, but they had weaknesses that could be exploited. If Bax could figure those out, he and his allies would be able to take them down. Unfortunately, Bax still didn’t know what the Order really wanted. As far as he could tell, they wanted Bax’s powers and potential with Keldira and Necrostiana, and they also wanted the Element of Prosperity. But he didn’t know what their stance was with Valtiel. Would they work with him or against him? Moreover, would Valtiel work with them, use them, or crush them if given the chance? There were variables that Bax didn’t quite understand.
There was also the Order’s apparent conflict with Zion and the Senate. While the Order and the Senate had appeared to work together for quite a while, they were now at each other’s throats. Bax didn’t know the details, but Rivel, Eve, and Teras had revealed the choice tidbit that the Senate had kicked them out of their headquarters in Zion. He didn’t know when or why Zion had turned against the Order, but it could be to his advantage. While it unfortunately meant that Bax no longer knew where they headquartered, it also meant that the Order was now working without the military support of Zion. While the Senate had not been too much of a thorn in Bax’s side, they had still attacked him early on and caused him more than a few problems. They could become more of a problem in the future. He had to be wary of their movements.
Bax’s thoughts about Zion led him to think about Nibelheim. He wondered what had become of the town of ex-Soldiers. He had left in such a hurry that he had no clue who had survived and who had been killed. Was the town anything more than a black spot on the ground anymore? They had holed up in that courtyard for a last stand while most of the town burned, and then they had been attacked by Kerlin, Daito, and Marco. They had driven out the Magi, but had they managed to hold up against the rest of Zion’s forces? Bax thought about the individuals he had met there and shook his head. Once again, he brought destruction on all those around him. He decided that after he found those poor people from Midgar that he would go find Nibelheim again and see what had become of them.
Bax wondered about Lynx, too. He hadn’t seen him since Nibelheim either. What had he been up to in the month or so since the events in that city? He had always been a mysterious figure, but Bax was concerned about him. After all, he had been knee-deep in that quest of his when things went haywire for him (in more ways than one). Bax hoped to find him at some point—he could prove a powerful ally in the upcoming battles.
As Bax neared the end of his pushup exercises, his thoughts drifted to his current situation. He had to find out where he was. He seemed to be with a bunch of drifters, but he didn’t know anything beyond that. Sephiroth X (whose strange powers now seemed wild and out of control) had sent him here, so he was probably around. Zack and Black Spider were here. Bax wondered if Jack was anywhere in the vicinity, and what had become of him since Midgar. And Bax even wondered about Prodigi, whom he hadn’t seen in nearly 2 months now. Had he made it out of Midgar? There were so many things that Bax didn’t know…and he needed to find answers.
Last, Bax considered the bracelet on his wrist. He didn’t know anything about it other than that Rivel had made it and that it was sapping all of his strength. He needed to gather information about it and figure out how to get it off. Until then, he would try to sharpen his other faculties so that he would be ready for the enemy’s next move.
Bax grunted as he lifted up from his regiment of pushups and he stretched briefly to try and dull the pain a little. It had taken more out of him than he expected. His injuries and the effects of the bracelet were greater than he expected. Even with these deficiencies, though, he felt like he could manage some more training without too much trouble. He took a crouching stance and kicked his right foot high in the air. He felt a sharp pain engulf his side and his eyes crossed as he fell back onto the ground. He inhaled jaggedly and moved his hand down to feel the hot wetness of his blood as it trickled out of his stitching. That last move had torn the stitches a little. Damn it…he had been too stubborn and come out to train too fast and too hard. He lay flat on his back and flopped out, trying to wait for the skin to close up and stop bleeding.
Zack barely heard something, but it was still enough to rouse him from his sleep. He jerked his head up, then looked with shock at the empty bed. He immediately sprang up, looking around quickly, then shot out of the tent, head whipping in all directions. It took him a moment to spot Bax; the sun was barely up, painting the sky a similar red to his not quite vibrant head-flame. Zack rushed over. "Bax! What the hell are you doing out here?!" he cried out in high pitch. His eyes were wide and worried as he skidded to a stop standing over him.
Bax looked up at the worried Zack and shrugged a little. "Lying on the ground and bleeding."
He chuckled and waved his hand, then answered more seriously, "No, no...I have been training a little. That is all. After all...I can not use my fire, so I have got to do something."
Zack narrowed his eyes, fists clenched, still standing. "Bax! Did your brain get damaged too!? I thought you would be smart enough to know that it's WAY too soon to do crap like this! All you're gonna do is hurt yourself worse! THEN what can you possibly do?! You need to get better first, you idiot!" He re-clenched his fists in his own hair, pulling for a moment, before lowering his hands over his eyes and emitting something between a frustrated growl and a long sad whine.
Bax blinked his eyes a few times, and then wrinkled his face in sorry disappointment. "I...I am sorry, Zack. I just wanted to...I just..."
Bax drew himself up to a seated position and looked up at Zack. "I can not simply sit idly while Valtiel and the Holy Order grow stronger every day. Every second that I sit and do nothing is a second that they have in their favor..."
Zack ran his hands down to his chin, then let them dangle helplessly at his sides as he sighed, shaking his head. "I know... I know it's hard to just sit around... But what good is it if you keep undoing any healing you've done? It's like sleeping; you just need to do it sometimes. Otherwise you'll fall apart when we need to actually do something." He knelt next to Bax, laying a hand on his shoulder, head lowered. "Came close enough to losin' you I dunno how many times. Last thing we need is for you to go downhill again already... I'll help you back in, ok?"
Bax put his hand on his friend's shoulder and let him help him to his feet with a reserved a meek "thank you." They walked slowly back into the tent. Bax grimaced a little--not so much from his injury, but from seeing how he had caused his friend such grief. Zack had a point, he supposed...he had to play a delicate balancing game now between healing and training. He couldn't lose what little edge he still possessed.
He sat back on his bed and sighed. "Well if I can not train much physically right now, I might as well meditate and focus my mind. That is the only thing I have not truly lost as a result of this bracelet..."
Zack forced a small, tired smirk. "You sure about that?" he asked, crossing his arms.
Bax chuckled a little, "I know that you think I am crazy for going out there to train, but I promise I am of clear mind. I have undergone intense meditation for at least an hour every day for 10 or 15 years...I can do this."
The teen's expression relaxed a bit into a small smile. "Alright. If you don't want distracted I can go, wander around or something."
"Well," Bax began, touching his finger to his chin, "I do not wish to kick you out. If you want, I can even show you what I do if you are interested. You can try the meditation as well."
The smile widened a bit. "That'd be awesome. Yeah, I'll give it a go. What do I do, that sitting cross-legged thingie going-" He closed his eyes and put his fingertips together, murmuring, "-hummmm-diddlediddle?"
Bax laughed heartily until he felt a sharp stab in his abdomen. He stopped his laughing and looked at Zack with a smile. "Not exactly," Bax said, amused by the stereotypical stance that his friend took on.
Zack instinctively raised a hand with a look of concern at Bax's pain, before forcing himself to relax again and pay attention.
Bax moved fully onto the bed and backed up against the slightly raised back board. "The trick for the meditation practices that I follow is to find a fairly immobilized position that you can maintain for long periods of time. An hour or more, usually. But we will try 30 minutes of meditation for now unless you think you can go for more."
Bax drew himself into a familiar cross-legged position, but one that did not put any strain on his legs. He stretched his arms out and cracked his fingers before clapping his lands lightly together and folding and intertwining all his fingers but his index fingers and thumbs. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"For this meditation, we are trying to close out the distractions of the world around us while heightening our other senses. For this reason, we close our eyes and try to find as quiet a place as possible. As long as our senses are mostly deprived, it works. That way, if anything does happen, we will be more aware of it."
Bax opened his eyes briefly to observe Zack. The teen took up his position on the chair nearby, scooting around a bit until he felt comfortable, then imitating Bax's hand position with a couple of double-checks. Then he sighed slowly, closing his eyes as well, trying to concentrate on his raw self rather than thoughts and surroundings. He figured it might take a bit, so he waited patiently as he shifted his focus. But then he frowned a bit. "Two of 'em don't want me to. They won't be quiet," he muttered.
Bax shifted his eyes over to Zack in confusion, and he studied his friend. Two of whom? What was Zack talking about? Bax shrugged and shook his head, choosing not to think too hard about it.
"Well...as we deprive our senses, we also want to clear our thoughts. The best way for me to do this is to settle into a pattern of rhythmic breathing: breathing in and out calmly but fully while counting. If you focus on this activity, your mind should clear itself. Eventually, this breathing pattern and the sense deprivation should become like second nature and we should be able to enter a trance-like state in which we can access our deeper consciousness."
Bax closed his eyes again and began to follow his own instructions. "If you are having any trouble or have any questions, please let me know."
Zack quietly answered, "Ok," and began to focus on his breathing. In... Out... In... Out... One... Two... He could always feel people buzzing around him, but it did seem more intense now, without light and colors to distract him. But every time he felt his awareness shifting, it was pushed back as if hitting a brick wall. "Oh, come on..." he murmured in a whisper, not realizing he was doing so out loud. "...You never let me do that........... Don't be scared, it's ok............." His voice rose to speaking level now, a bit frustrated, his brow furrowed. "I'm not even opening the door, sheesh what's wrong with--"
His eyes opened, looking glassy, then puzzled. He scratched his head and chuckled, "Heh, oh man, this is kinda hard." He looked different than before somehow... More like, he looked like he usually looked, but had not been looking ever since Bax had returned in his poor state. Bright yet shallow.
Bax opened his eyes again and trembled a little at the strange words coming out of Zack's mouth. He was even more taken aback by the odd subtle change in his appearance. What was going on? He wondered suddenly if this was such a good idea.
"Uh, Zack," he began, "We can stop if you would like. If this is too...hard...we do not have to keep going."
Zack frowned a bit, "Aww, I wanna though! It's just those guys give me a hard time whenever I..." his words stopped but his mouth opened and closed a few more times. Then he looked puzzled and scratched his head again. "Uhhhh... Maybe I just can't do it, same way I can't see some color-- Wait, I can... Uh..." He tapped his chin, his movements pronounced and exaggerated as he took on a stereotypical thinking pose for a moment, then shrugged deeply. "Oh well, I'll just take a nap. You can keep goin'." He folded his arms up behind his head and crossed his ankles on the floor, closing his eyes, a small grin plastered to his face.
Bax shook visibly as beads of sweat dotted his brow. Those guys? Color deficiencies? What was going on? Zack was speaking in such confusing terms and nothing coming out of his mouth seemed to make sense! Even if he wanted to, Bax didn't think he could focus enough to meditate properly. He broke his pose and stood up, then went over to Zack.
"Zack...what is going on? There is something that you are not telling me, is there not?"
Zack opened one eye casually, then slowly the other slid open, both going distant and wavering a bit. The boy lowered his arms and sat up normally in the chair, looking at Bax, wanting to speak and yet obviously unsure on several levels. Then his hands wrung together, and his eyes lowered to watch them. In a very quiet, young-sounding voice, he asked, "...Is it weird... that I have a few people in my head?"
Bax's eyes widened, but then softened to hear what Zack was saying. If he were anyone else, he probably would have immediately told Zack that he was out of his mind. But Bax didn't want to be a hypocrite.
"You couldn't be a hypocrite to save your life. Fess up, boy."
Bax sighed and shook his head, "No, actually. It is unexpected, I will admit, but it is not weird."
Bax looked around him, especially at the opening of the tent, and then he leaned in close to Zack. "Can I let you in on a little secret?" he whispered.
The teen hesitantly raised his head, looking up at Bax wonderingly. "What is it?"
Bax smiled as he looked at Zack, and he raised a finger to point at his head. "I have got someone else up here, too."
Zack's eyes widened a bit, then he partially smiled, though still a bit nervous. "Heh... Wow... Well then... maybe it really isn't too weird... Mine won't let me think too hard."
Bax slowly began to put details together in his mind. As he observed Zack in a new light through the filter of this information, many confusing things about Zack began to make sense. Bax didn't understand what kinds of "personalities" kept Zack company, but he was almost positive that it was not like his own inner darkness. Either way, the mysterious scarred teen lying before Bax was beginning to make more sense.
"Mine is a real asshole," Bax attempted to move conversationally, "but I keep him in check. That is part of the reason why I meditate every day. He and I do not get along."
Zack cocked his head a bit, smirking for a moment, then frowning as his eyes mellowed back to match who he had been this past day. Deeper, but still a bit closed off, and warm. "That really sucks... I'm sorry you have it that rough, I had no idea... Hope he doesn't get a turn at the window. But if he ever were to, I'll do my best to call you back." The eyes then shifted one more time, extra sparky again, as he declared, "Guess we all can have each others' backs! Us multi's gotta stick together!"
Bax laughed, albeit a little uneasily (though he tried to mask this nervousness as best as possible). "Thank you, Zack. It is usually not too bad, but he can get in the way. What about you and your...situation?"
Zack sighed, clearly trying to analyze himself a bit, but his eyes kept bouncing back and forth, and he finally shook his head and sighed. "I dunno... It's hard to explain, cuz I can't think very hard."
Bax leaned back a little casually, breaking his pose and looking at Zack a little more closely. He had to watch closely to see if he could detect any physical changes (twitching, shudders, sudden movements) that could implicate a personality shift). He wanted to learn what he could about Zack's own multi-dimensionality...at the very least so that he could better understand his friend, but also so that he could help him if he needed it.
"Does anybody else know, Zack?" he asked, trying not to appear too put-off.
The teen leaned forward a bit, looking at the floor, hand to his jaw as he thought, closing his eyes for a moment. Then they opened, and seemed a darker shade, serious and more narrowed. He sat up straighter, seeming solid and confident yet still cautious and a little defensive. His voice lowered in tone as well. Much as the few times he had been deathly serious before, such as in battle. The only time he really looked like a warrior and seemed to fit his clothing, weapons, and scars. "I believe Sephiroth X knows... He entered my mind once a while back, to help me remember a few skills I had to put away. Others may suspect, but they haven't been told."
Bax just barely saw the change as it happened, though its effects were obvious once Zack began to speak. Bax blinked his eyes a few times, then watched and listened carefully.
"I see," he said. He would have to confer with Sephiroth X later about this and figure out what he knew. Suddenly, Bax got an idea, and he looked at Zack with intrigue and a little bit of mischief. He knew it could be dangerous, but he wanted to try something...
"Zack,” Bax began simply, “do you think it would be possible for me to...talk to them?"
The teen cocked his head slightly, expression still serious though looking puzzled, then contemplative. "I'm not sure if it works that way... It's been best not to overthink all of this... Hadn't even realized on a conscious level that it's an... 'us' situation until just now... I suppose we can try though." His eyes closed again, a bit longer than a blink, before re-opening to become wide and bright again. Youthful and innocent, they often lowered or diverted as he spoke, as Zack sat in a meek posture poking his fingertips together. "Umm... I guess this is like, it. Uh... I'm just kinda... here."
Bax looked surprised. He had half expected to half to guide Zack through a full trance sequence and touch his mind. But these changes were rapid, and each facet of himself was both self-aware and aware of the others at all times. It was...fascinating, though a bit frightening.
"Okay," he said. "Well...hi. I guess you are all Zack, right? No different names or anything like that. Just very...distinct parts of yourself. Maybe?"
The kid lowered his eyes and head, scratching the edges of some of his fingernails with the edges of other fingernails, before he quietly mumbled, "...I dunno... I'm not allowed to think about it...." Another long blink, and his posture completely relaxed and opened up. Zack waved dismissively as he leaned back and crossed his ankle over his thigh. "Eh, nah, I'm just Zack Strife. It's a good name. You know it, chicks dig it."
Bax's head went back as his eyes widened, but then he too relaxed and smiled, leaning forward again. This was a side of Zack that he didn't think he had ever seen before. From anyone else, these would just be like different parts of same person. But in Zack...it was like they were totally different people.
"It is a good name," he said, smiling, unsure of what else to say as Zack went through personalities like cards in a playing deck. It was almost like a show.
The teen shrugged, then did the all-too-familiar scratching of the back of his head. "Soooo.... Any particular questions?" He then folded his arms behind his head again, casually. "Then again, I'm usually the one out. Cuz I'm me an' all. So you prolly know pretty much all there is to know about me-me here. That is, if you can manage to catch stuff that pops outta my mouth, since I do kinda barf out a dictionary whenever I wanna get a point across. Though I don't know that many words so they prolly repeat a whole bunch, though I try an' keep it creative at least a little."
Then he cocked his head, then leaned forward and apologetically flopped his arms as he more desperately spewed, "Oh, I mean, I'm not tryin' to say your vocabulary's small too, you've come WAY further than even me prolly cuz the Desert doesn't exactly have the best school district, so you're like way better at English than I am, so you prolly have no problem with all this crap, so don't take it the wrong way or anything, but if you DO need help then lemme know an' I'll try but I'm not really all that great at teachin' stuff, not that you need me to, but well, you know what I mean right?" He waited apprehensively for confirmation.
Bax once again started blinking rapidly as Zack experience severe diarrhea of the mouth and waved his arms about. He almost got dizzy watching him. Yes, he had seen this facet of Zack many many times before. After he got over the initial quiet shock from Zack's intense, run-on monologue, he bent his head down and began to guffaw. His eyes ran with tears as a joyful expression ran across his face and he descended into snickers and chuckling.
"I am sorry, Zack, I am sorry!" he gasped out, searching for air. "It is just that you give me the giggles! Oh, you are always you, are you not?" He started laughing again with a great smile on his face.
Zack looked relieved that he hadn't insulted his friend, and he chuckled a bit, scratching the back of his head again. "Heh, well, as me as I can be at any given time... Um, let's see... there's a couple more folks I think, but they're like, real downers. But, I guess everyone gets a turn. Ciao!" He winked, then the other eye slid closed, quite a bit longer than previous 'switches'.
His grin faded into stern neutrality, and the eyes opened once more to the serious character from before. "Hm," he said in a low tone, "I'm surprised at how this works... I'm not sure if the others will remember this for long. But I can keep record. I keep what might otherwise complicate things. This would be a good mode for questions; I know the situation when I need to, but can close it off if it gets too risky."
Bax's laughing faded with the introduction of this new character, and he listened intently. "You seem like the most...aware. Can you tell me anything about...I do not mean to offend, but...why do you all exist?"
The young man's lips tightened slightly, then he raised his arms, pulling down the new long gloves to reveal the scarred flesh. "I'd imagine it has a lot to do with all this. Probably other things too." As he eyed the jagged imperfections, he continued, "Sometimes a few things out here in the world seem to contradict what I'm allowed to access. There's a door separating me - us - from a lot of things. Dangerous things. It's my job to keep those things at bay whenever the door breaks open. To keep the rest, especially the important one, safe. Both inside, and out here. They can all fight, but I am the most capable."
Bax looked at the scars which Zack was normally embarrassed about, but that he now showed almost readily. The young man fascinated him more and more by the second. Obviously this one was an important facet of Zack's persona. "The important one?" Bax asked quizzically.
His eyes closed one more time, then opened to the warm, deep, sincere blue that Bax had seen worry over him this past day and night. The blue that had welcomed Bax's awakening back in the Senate prison. The blue that had wept in the Desert of the Dead when concern for Bax overshadowed the boy's own well-being. "...I guess... me." The eyes lowered, as if he felt unworthy of such focus.
Even though there were no direct physical changes, the effect of the personality shift was unmistakable. The shy, worry-torn Zack looked him in the eyes with intense, unworthy meekness.
"So you are the one? I know that look. I saw that look last night."
The boy nodded slowly. Not as childlike as the first had been, but world-worn. "Well... I've been here with you. It's important to be here for you... Just wish I could have kept things from getting as bad as they have." His eyes lowered. He was still, not fidgeting, just somehow tired.
"It is not your fault," Bax said immediately. He looked with kind eyes and Zack and wished suddenly that he was next to Zack so that he could put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I promise it is not your fault, Zack...I will do my best not to get hurt, and I will protect you, too. That is...with or without my powers. We will win...okay?"
Rather than vaulting back into the cheerful facet as he usually would in such a situation, the boy only looked up with a small glimmer of hope in his eyes, as well as relief, and he nodded, the barest hint of a smile edging his lips. "...Ok... I'll fight extra hard too. If I can do anything, I will."
Bax half-smiled and nodded. That would do. That would more than do it. "I know you will, Zack. I know." He got off of the bed and walked slowly over to Zack. He tried to gauge him, and then decided to move in. He knelt down next to where Zack was sitting and rolled his long glove-sleeve back to cover the scars, and then embraced his friend silently.
Zack grew a bit tense, then let out his breath in a sigh and closed his eyes. Somehow, he felt like a strong need he didn't realize he'd had was being tended to. As if some silent pain were being comforted. He returned the gesture in gratitude, whispering, "...thank you, Bax..."
Bax nodded quietly as he held his friend, glad for a peaceful moment in the midst of this war that was tearing them physically and mentally apart. A lone tear slipped down his cheek and he smiled. "Do not mention it."
