Post by ForeverZeroUltima on Sept 13, 2006 16:57:02 GMT -5
You will NOT believe the project I had to do for English class; take a look yourself, I made a scan copy of my assignment sheet:
www.geocities.com/sangaerashiju/contract.jpg
www.geocities.com/sangaerashiju/contract2.jpg
If you cannot read the tiny print, or if you refuse to read a huge blown-up version of it, here’s what it says:
“De Olde Chivalry Assignment
Each knight, being bound by his oaths to family, to liege lord Smythe and the One who lives and reigns forever in the heavens, shall hereby perform, both from his unfathomable dedication to service and as clear sign of his worth, over the period of one-half fortnight from this present day, for a beloved whom said knight shall thoughtfully and humbly pluck from amongst the vast court here assembled, the heroic tasks enumerated herein. Whence said time shall have elapsed, the chosen lady, abundant in beauties as spring’s first rose, and proven more excellent in virtues, true beloved of said knight, shall render unto liege lord Smythe the things that are rightfully his, that is, the record of her kindly knight’s service, thereby also proving her excellent worth.
Mark of said Worthy Knight: ________________________________
Mark of said Beloved Lady: _________________________________
Said Tasks, yet argument not less but more laudable than the wrath of stern Smythe:
Task the first – Wherein the worthy knight shall formally greet his beloved at each appearance, acknowledging her countless graces and incomprehensible beauties, and, at the initial meeting of day, exchange pleasant courtesies with her, exhibiting proper respect by means of a courtly bow.
Task the second – Wherein the worthy knight, under cover of the same, shall deposit, at the castle door of his beloved, five parchment scrolls on each of the days of labor, wherein her manifold virtues are praised.
Task the third – Wherein the worthy knight shall render himself thrice to be given up as a pack mule of sorts for his beloved, endeavoring to bring the whole of her possessions, whether at dawn of day or setting of sun, safely from castle to steed, or vice versa, and successfully to dispatch, if need be, any enemies to her person whilom.
Task the fourth – Wherein the worthy knight shall take charge of, display visibly on his person, and ensure the safe return of an amulet, given by the beloved and intended to promote a continual contemplation of her inestimable worth as well as the unmerited grace shown said knight by her mere presence in this veil of tears.
Task the fifth – Wherein the worthy knight shall, atop some lofty tower, make public pronouncement of his feelings for the beloved on two separate occasions; the first, wherein he shall recite a lay (not of his own hand) which praises the lady’s superiority to the remaining members of her sex, and the second, wherein he shall proclaim, with words from his own hand, his unworthiness to treat her beauty, virtue, and other excellences as well as the hyperbolic manner in which said lady deserves to be valued.
Task the last – Wherein the worthy knight, supplicating on bended knee, shall present his radiant lady with a flower in symbol of her graciousness and thank her heartily for enduring his service; he shall depart thence to seek out his liege lord, relate the successful completion of his knightly duty, rendering also to the liege lord the present document, still lately damp from his beloved’s hand, and patiently await his judgment.”
(In short, I had to pick a girl in my grade and serve her for a week in order to “prove” that chivalry is not dead. I had to greet her every time I see her, carry her books from class to class, send notes to her locker praising her manifold virtues, read a poem to her IN PUBLIC, and give her a flower. Also, she gave me an “amulet” which I was supposed to wear during the days of this project. She gave me a pink button that said “100% Cute!”)
Bleh…
www.geocities.com/sangaerashiju/contract.jpg
www.geocities.com/sangaerashiju/contract2.jpg
If you cannot read the tiny print, or if you refuse to read a huge blown-up version of it, here’s what it says:
“De Olde Chivalry Assignment
Each knight, being bound by his oaths to family, to liege lord Smythe and the One who lives and reigns forever in the heavens, shall hereby perform, both from his unfathomable dedication to service and as clear sign of his worth, over the period of one-half fortnight from this present day, for a beloved whom said knight shall thoughtfully and humbly pluck from amongst the vast court here assembled, the heroic tasks enumerated herein. Whence said time shall have elapsed, the chosen lady, abundant in beauties as spring’s first rose, and proven more excellent in virtues, true beloved of said knight, shall render unto liege lord Smythe the things that are rightfully his, that is, the record of her kindly knight’s service, thereby also proving her excellent worth.
Mark of said Worthy Knight: ________________________________
Mark of said Beloved Lady: _________________________________
Said Tasks, yet argument not less but more laudable than the wrath of stern Smythe:
Task the first – Wherein the worthy knight shall formally greet his beloved at each appearance, acknowledging her countless graces and incomprehensible beauties, and, at the initial meeting of day, exchange pleasant courtesies with her, exhibiting proper respect by means of a courtly bow.
Task the second – Wherein the worthy knight, under cover of the same, shall deposit, at the castle door of his beloved, five parchment scrolls on each of the days of labor, wherein her manifold virtues are praised.
Task the third – Wherein the worthy knight shall render himself thrice to be given up as a pack mule of sorts for his beloved, endeavoring to bring the whole of her possessions, whether at dawn of day or setting of sun, safely from castle to steed, or vice versa, and successfully to dispatch, if need be, any enemies to her person whilom.
Task the fourth – Wherein the worthy knight shall take charge of, display visibly on his person, and ensure the safe return of an amulet, given by the beloved and intended to promote a continual contemplation of her inestimable worth as well as the unmerited grace shown said knight by her mere presence in this veil of tears.
Task the fifth – Wherein the worthy knight shall, atop some lofty tower, make public pronouncement of his feelings for the beloved on two separate occasions; the first, wherein he shall recite a lay (not of his own hand) which praises the lady’s superiority to the remaining members of her sex, and the second, wherein he shall proclaim, with words from his own hand, his unworthiness to treat her beauty, virtue, and other excellences as well as the hyperbolic manner in which said lady deserves to be valued.
Task the last – Wherein the worthy knight, supplicating on bended knee, shall present his radiant lady with a flower in symbol of her graciousness and thank her heartily for enduring his service; he shall depart thence to seek out his liege lord, relate the successful completion of his knightly duty, rendering also to the liege lord the present document, still lately damp from his beloved’s hand, and patiently await his judgment.”
(In short, I had to pick a girl in my grade and serve her for a week in order to “prove” that chivalry is not dead. I had to greet her every time I see her, carry her books from class to class, send notes to her locker praising her manifold virtues, read a poem to her IN PUBLIC, and give her a flower. Also, she gave me an “amulet” which I was supposed to wear during the days of this project. She gave me a pink button that said “100% Cute!”)
Bleh…
your english teacher is insane....
